Goodnight, Mom
by kandys-couple
Summary: One shot. Kirsten and Ryan fluff, set at the end of 4.09.


Just a short piece set after episode 4.09 The My Two Dads. Kirsten/Ryan bonding.

Diclaimer: Don't own anything or anyone… if I did, it sure wouldn't be cancelled. :P

So this was what life was supposed to be like. She had never imagined that she could ever be this happy. And for the most part, he had been the reason for it all.

Ryan felt eyes burning into the side of his face. He turned his head and his eyes caught Kirsten's. She smiled lovingly, her face turning a slight shade of pink at being caught staring, before turning back to the television. Ryan shook his head and laughed silently to himself.

Kirsten wasn't sure if anyone else had caught what Ryan had called Sandy. _Dad's is pretty good... _Of course, there was the usual implication that she and Sandy were Ryan's parents but he had never addressed them as such. She wasn't sure if he had noticed it himself. She wasn't sure if she'd ever hear him say it again. Maybe that's what made it so special to begin with.

Ryan had brought their family together. She recalled the night he came home from the hospital. She had ordered him to sleep in the guest bedroom. He protested at first but the look in her eyes made him succumb to whatever she wanted. She just wanted to be able to watch over him, protect him, do anything for him if he needed her to. She just wanted to take care of him. She didn't get the opportunity to mother him when he was growing up. The mother he had been given had hurt him over the years. Kirsten wasn't going to let that happen anymore.

She had sat on the edge of his bed, to wait until he fell asleep. She just wanted to make sure he was alright, comfortable. Ryan had looked up at her, his deep eyes staring into her ocean blues and for a moment, looked slightly sad.

_"What's wrong? Ryan? Are you in pain? Do you want me to get you anything?" asked Kirsten, worry etching her soft features._

"No, no, I'm fine, really. I just remembered something. My dream. Not all of it. It's mostly a blur but I remember, a little at a time. It was... I just..." mumbled Ryan, slightly upset. His voice slurring slightly. The medication was starting to take effect.

"What, Ryan?" she pushed, gently.

"You and Sandy. You weren't together. You weren't happy. You were with Jimmy. Julie... Sandy," he stuttered. 

Kirsten stared blankly at him as he tried to remember everything.

"Is it true? You'd be with Jimmy if I hadn't come to Newport?"

"I..." Kirsten didn't know what to say. That's what he had dreamt of? She felt like she was living a piece of 'It's A Wonderful Life'. Suddenly, her heart broke for Ryan. Seeing what life would be like had you not existed couldn't have been a walk in the park.

"Don't answer. It's... I... It's stupid." Ryan turned his face from her a shut his eyes, allowing the medication to take over his body. The drowsiness began to engulf his body but a voice was grabbing his attention.

"It might be true, Ryan. You see, you saved me. You save us, our family. That comic that Seth drew out, it wasn't a lie. I wasn't who I am today. I was cold and uncaring. If you had never shown up, I probably would have ended up like my father. I know you probably can't hear me but you coming to Newport saved us all from ourselves and the life we were destroying. You brought us all together..." Kirsten decided it was best to stop there, the tears in her eyes were threatening to spill and the lump in her throat wouldn't subside. She sat next to Ryan in silence, listening to her son breathe. She placed her hand, gingerly, over his before getting up to place a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you, Ryan. Sleep tight, sweetie."

She turned to leave the room but something stopped her in her tracks. She felt a small tug at her hand. Ryan was still holding her hand. He was looking at her through half-lidded eyes. Their gaze told her all she needed to know. Her lip quivered as she smiled and gave a short nod. He loved her too. 

A tear fell from her cerulean eye as she recalled the memory. With a sigh, she leaned her head on her other son's shoulder. She lifted a hand to wipe it away, inducing a concerned glance from Seth. "Mom, you okay?"

The other men on the couch turned to look at her, throwing worried questions at her. She shook her head a smiled, sniffing a little, "I'm fine, really. Just enjoying the moment a little too much, I guess."

Sandy smiled and chuckled, pulling himself to his feet, "Come on, boys, bed. I think your mother needs some rest. Meerkats have thrust her into an emotional spiral."

The three Cohens sitting on the couch, stared at Sandy, incredulously before bursting into laughter. Sandy shrugged, a toothy grin on his face as he offered Kirsten his hand. She rolled her eyes as she took it and he pulled her to her feet.

The family went off in their different directions, Kirsten staying back to fetch herself some water. She needed some time to herself to calm down. Sandy was right somewhat. She was emotional but it wasn't because of the meerkats. It was because of the blue-eyed young man standing in the kitchen, staring blankly at her.

"Hey, everything okay?" asked Ryan, maneuvering himself around the island to pour himself a glass of milk. Kirsten just watched him. He used to be so tense around her, being in the house, being in the family. He was so comfortable now, at ease, at home. He belonged in the family just as much as anyone else. She was sorry for what had happened to him in the past but somewhat grateful for the opportunity that presented itself. He had been given a second chance at happiness, at life. She had been given a second chance at living it.

She felt his eyes on her. She snapped away from her thoughts and smiled. Her son. "I heard what you said, you know," she said, carefully.

Ryan swallowed, hard. "What?"

"What you said to Sandy. What you called him, after. It means the world to him you know. You and Seth, you mean the world to him," she said. She twisted her rings around her finger, looking down at them. She was nervous. She didn't know why. She knew how he felt about Sandy. But about her, she wasn't so sure.

Ryan blushed, slightly, looking around the room, uncomfortably. Kirsten looked up, noticing the small light pink tint of his cheeks, his blue eyes shifting side to side. She couldn't help but smile. "Uh, thanks?" he muttered.

She laughed, softly, "You should go back to bed."

Ryan finished off his milk before depositing the glass in the sink, "'kay." Kirsten approached him as he walked toward the doors. He stopped, confused as to what she was doing.

Kirsten sighed and pulled him into her arms. He stood, startled by her sudden embrace momentarily before wrapping his arms around her small frame and burying his head in her shoulder.

"You guys... You mean the world to me, too," he whispered softly. 

Kirsten's eyes widened at his confession, the lump in her throat returning and tears beginning to fill her eyes. She took a step back, her hands on his shoulders and looking into his eyes. She saw him panic a little when he saw her watery eyes but relax when she told him it was okay. Today was beyond anything she had ever imagined. She didn't know what to say to what he had just said. She was certain her heart was going to burst with happiness. "That's so cute," she said, randomly. She wanted to run out of the room. Out of all the asinine things she had ever said, this had to take the cake.

Ryan stared at her. Was he wrong to tell her? They stood in an awkward silence as each wondered what the other was thinking. Ryan noticed her reddining face, clearly embarassed. He wanted to laugh, then and there as he realized that she had said that as homage to their conversation a few weeks past and because she simply couldn't come up with something better to say. It comforted him to know that what he had affected her like that. She was overwhelmed and he couldn't help but smile.

Kirsten looked at him in disbelief, shaking her head before smiling back. It wasn't before long that they began to laugh lightly at the situation. In the back of her mind, Kirsten couldn't believe what she had witnessed. He had read her like a book. He knew what she did, why she did it. It almost drove her to tears to know that this was what her relationship with her son had become. It was okay that they didn't talk all the time. He knew her better than she had thought.

"So, no comments?"

Ryan shrugged. He thought for a moment before speaking. "You were auditioning to be Seth. Seth doesn't do that. Mothers do though..."

Kirsten felt her heart melt. 

"... at least mine does."

He smiled at her, gently. She searched his eyes to find if what he was saying was really what he was saying. Everything in her heart and soul, his eyes told her that she wasn't wrong.

Kirsten whimpered before gathering him in her arms again in a delicate embrace. Ryan chuckled before giving her a small squeeze. The day really was perfect. She never thought the day would have come. Somewhere down the years, she had known that somehow in his eyes, she wasn't only his guardian. She was more than that. She was the nurturing mother he never had. They had saved each other.

Kirsten allowed a few tears to spill onto her flushed cheek before kissing his cheek and rubbing his shoulders, "Now you go before i drench this perfect moment with my tears."

They shared another light laugh before he nodded and began to walk out the door. Ryan paused, leaning against the doorframe. She looked at him, questioningly.

He gave a shy smile before speaking, "Goodnight, mom."


End file.
